Luh_Vey_Vey; ]: September 2011

Relationships...What is it for? Love?..Does that still matter now a days?? My last relationship was Long Distance. We never met and til this day we still haven't. My older sister was dating his older brother, and one night as they were talking on the phone, I got to speak to him. I asked him if he had a younger brother. He replied, "yes". He tells me their age and names. And on the spot I said, "oooooh, I want one". We both laughed and soon I was talking to the man that made me happy and at other times sad and lonely. We started talking for a while. It soon became serious. He met my sister that dated his older brother. My sister comes back and tells me how we are so alike in so many ways. I was so happy. I loved this guy. I nearly gave up all my time just to spend with him, whether it was begging my sisters to let me use their phone so that I could call him, to ditching my history class to go to the computer lab just to write him online. He asked me to be his girl over the phone. I soon found out that when he asked me out he was not sober, and the following day when he called I asked him if he remembered any of it. He Replied, "of course I do, I asked you out." I just laughed. We had some good times over the phone, and some bad times as well. He was the first to tell me that he "LOVED" me, but before he even told me, I already knew because
I had the same exact feelings for him. I had those feelings for awhile until he FINALLY told me. Our relationship went on for more than a year. My feelings never faded. I always loved him, and at times, when I think back to it, I still do. My sister (the one who dated his older brother) convinced me that I have fallen for him, and that we are different. I already knew that. What she meant by "DIFFERENT" was that we had different backgrounds. As in, he drinks, I don't, he smokes, I don't, his daily conversation consists of a lot of swear words, and I.. I get irritated when people swear in front of me. At times when she told me these things I thought she was just jealous, because of the fact that She dated the older brother and that didn't work because HE had another girl on the side. My little sister even started talking to the youngest brother and they just stopped talking to each other. But then I started to open my eyes and realized that I was killing myself mentally, physically, and spiritually. I soon noticed how much time that I gave up for him. I noticed that I was starting to fall away from my family. I blame myself because I was the one worrying about him and how he was, and what he was doing and all that. I know that everything would have been fine if didn't stress as much as I did on stupid useless thing. One day, my mom and I got into it. I started to think about him. And you'd think that he's my man that once I thought about him that everything would be good and I'd feel better... but NOPE!! that didn't happen because right when he crossed my mind it escalated my anger towards the world. I spent that half of that day and the whole night just crying and reminiscing about our good times. I knew I had to break it off. I felt like my world was DESTROYED. I tried finding ways to forget about him, but it all ended up leading me to a coping stage. We no longer keep in touch. It's weird for me because, I've always been close to my Exes because...if it didn't work out then... you know...LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS... but I guess he didn't want that. I have been single ever since I had broken up with him. It's weird because this is the longest I have been single. I notice that I feel more happier. I feel like tons have been lifted up off my shoulders. I feel more stress free. I have more time on my hands. BUT on the other hand I'd like to talk to someone that I'm not related to, someone that is not one of my friends, I kinda miss staying up all night just to "CUPCAKE". Other than that LIFE'S GOOD[= I just hope that I don't stay single FOREVER!!! ;P LOL.. I want to focus on what's important right now.. and that is my EDUCATION and FAMILY! [= I know guys will come and go... but I'll just stay on my little corner studying books for now! =]